half of my soul
by larasgee
Summary: when Hikaru and Kaoru were not allowed to be together


**Title: **Half of My Soul

**Genre: **Romance, Slice of Life

**Rated: **T

**Fandom: **Ouran High School Host Club

**Disclaimer: **Hatori Bisco-sensei

**Warning: **dead-character, shonen-ai, twincest

...

...

Since 3 months ago until now, Kaoru was forced to stay on the hospital. He had a cancer. Blood cancer, or we can say Leukimia.

"Hikaru! Please just go home. I can call a nurse if I want something... You don't have to be absent these 3 months!" Kaoru shouted at his twin. Hikaru smiled warmly to Kaoru and said, "I am lazy to go to school, so I've decided to stay. Hehe, you don't like this?"

Kaoru opened his mouth then closed it. Hikaru stood up and came closer to Kaoru.

"The only reason why I didn't go to school is because I want to stay beside you. Seeing you suffer this damn cancer alone, it's just..." Hikaru stopped his words. The tears were falling down. Hikaru cried, for many times because seeing Kaoru like that.

"Hikaru, stop crying. Why did you cry? Is that because... is that because of _me?" _Kaoru asked. Hikaru smiled then said,

"_No. I cried because I feel God is unfair. We are twins. Why only you who must suffer the pain? I want to... I want to suffer this pain too, together with you."_

...

...

"Kao-chaaaan! Hika-chaan! _Konnichiwa! _How is it, Kao-chan? Are you alright? Huh? Where is Hika-chan?" Honey-senpai was visiting Kaoru that day. Mori-senpai was there as well. But there were no Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kyouya.

"_Konnichiwa, _Honey-senpai. Hikaru is going to the doctor's room. Besides, where is the other?" Kaoru tried to sit but he failed. Mori-senpai rushed to him and helped.

"You don't need to sit, Kaoru. We are okay with that." As same as before, Mori-senpai always talks coldly. Kaoru smiled and said, "_Arigatou."_

"The other will come soon. Haruhi has an extra lesson, so Tama-chan and Kyo-chan decided to wait for her." Honey sat on the sofa. He pulled out something from his bag. A box of cake.

"Hey hey, Kao-chan. I brought some cakes before, want some?" Kaoru smiled. Honey-senpai really didn't change. He still loves cake and his Usa-chan. Kaoru really missed his life; with many girls around, with some stupid ideas, with everything.

"Kao-chan, are you okay? Why didn't you say a thing?" Honey-senpai came closer to Kaoru. Kaoru felt pain in all parts of his body. He looked at Honey-senpai into the eyes and asked desperately, "If...If I must die... Do you guys will remember me? If... If I can't hold anymore... Will Hikaru feel sad?"

"Kao-chan... Huaaaaaa! Honey ran after Kaoru and hugged him tightly. Kaoru smiled. He –Hitachiin Kaoru- didn't understand why he was happy. He really didn't understand.

Suddenly Haruhi, Kyouya, and Tamaki showed up. They all smiled to Kaoru.

"_I think I understand right now, why I am happy. I'm happy because I can see their smiles." _Kaoru put a really big smile on his face. He forgot about the pain on his body and started to eat Honey's cake.

...

...

Hikaru entered Kaoru's room. Hikaru saw that his twin was sleeping. Hikaru looked at his twin body and sat beside him. He held Kaoru's hand and whispered, "Hey, Kaoru. Doctor said to me that your body was getting worse. Tell me it's not true. It's not true, right? You won't leave me, right? Talk to me, Kaoru. Talk to me." And once more, tears were falling down. Kaoru's hand was moving to Hikaru's cheek. Hikaru was surprise, Kaoru wasn't sleeping.

"You said earlier that you didn't cry because of me. You lied, Hikaru." Kaoru's sad face made Hikaru cried harder.

"I am afraid, Kaoru! I am afraid, I'll lose you! I'm afraid that God will take you away from me. We were created together, so we are one!" Hikaru hugged Kaoru. Kaoru didn't say anything, he didn't _do_ anything.

"Kaoru, why didn't you hug... me? Kaoru? KAORU! Hey wake up! Doctor! Doctor! Kaoru didn't open his eyes! Doctor!" Hikaru ran, trying to get any helps.

...

...

"It's alright now, Hitachiin-san. I am sure your twin will open his eyes soon. You can enter his room now." A doctor talked to Hikaru. Hikaru smiled and bowed his body. Hikaru walked and opened the door quietly. Kaoru was still asleep. His face was so pale. Hikaru didn't move an inch from that door. He just stood there, watching his twin took his breath.

Hikaru walked outside the room. He started to cry –again. But this time, he wouldn't cry in front of Kaoru anymore. He won't cry in front of him anymore. He swore to himself.

...

...

"Morning, Hikaru!" Hikaru slept on Kaoru's bedside. Hikaru was still sleeping until that voice –that belongs to Kaoru- woke him up.

"Ka-Kaoru? Are you okay?" Hikaru placed his hand on Kaoru's forehead. The temperature was so normal.

"I am okay, Hikaru... You don't need to worry that much. Besides, I have a favor!" Kaoru held Hikaru's hand. Hikaru looked confused. Hikaru gave Kaoru smiled then said, "Everything you want, I will give it to you."

"That's good then. I want you and the other host club members to go to the zoo and get pictures as many as you can. Remember! _As many as you can! _Got it?" Kaoru was a little bit strange today. He smiled, really smiled. Like he didn't feel pain anymore.

"But... But who will take care of you? No! I'll refuse this favor." Hikaru released his hands from Kaoru's. Kaoru asked –no, whispered to him. "Please, I just want you to have fun. You can come back at night. I've called _king_ and he said okay. I just wanted you to have fun. Can you do this, _for me?"_

Hikaru looked really confused. He took a long time to decide and finally nodded his head. "Just this time, _I'll leave you alone."_

...

...

"Haaaah, today was fun, everyone! Thanks a lot! How about this cap? Do you think Kaoru will like it?" Hikaru dan the other host club members walked on the corridor of the hospital. They bought many things for Kaoru. They even collected a thousand animal's pictures.

"I think he'll like it. By the way, Hikaru, why do many nurses and doctors stand in front of Kaoru's room?" Haruhi asked. Hikaru saw that and ran as fast as he could to reach that room.

"What is it? Doctor, Kaoru is alright, isn't he?" Hikaru tried to take a deep breath. A doctor showed a sad-faced. Hikaru's heart started to beat faster.

"Doctor, what is it?"

"Before, _he's gone, _he left this for you. We tried to save him but..." that doctor stopped his words.

Hikaru opened the letter that was given by doctor. His hand were shaking. His eyes were starting to get blurred. He started to read.

_Hey, Hikaru, if you read this letter, means that I am no longer exist in this world._

_Will you put red roses on my grave? I really like them._

_Hey, hey, you aren't crying, are you? It'll be funny if you cry in front of other host members! Hahaha..._

_Hey, Hikaru, do you know? This damn cancer really hurt me, a lot..._

_I think you felt it too, we're an identical twins, right?_

_So, I decided to follow the death-ripper, but I don't regret it._

_At first, I thought you can't live without me..._

_We were created together, we had been together, so we are ONE._

_But I finally understand, Haruhi can replace my place in your heart._

_You love her, don't you?_

_Hey, Hikaru, I have a favor. I promise it'll be the last._

_Hikaru, will you forget me?_

Hikaru kept silent. He entered the room. Kaoru's face was closed by a white blanket. He stepped closer to his twin dead-body. The other host members were there too and they didn't try to ask. They understand Hikaru's feeling. The fact is, _Kaoru had gone._ Honey-senpai started to cry, Mori-senpai closed his eyes, Kyouya-senpai put his glasses off, Tamaki came closer to Kaoru's dead-body, and Haruhi tried to cheer Hikaru up.

Hikaru touched Kaoru's cheek for the last time. It was so cold. Kaoru's eyes were closed, he didn't take any breath. Suddenly, Hikaru opened his mouth and shouted.

"What was that? What's wrong with you? You asked me to forget you? You think _I can?_ Are you an _Idiot?_ Wake up! Don't fool around! Kaoru, wake up! Open your eyes!" The tears started falling down from Hikaru's eyes.

Hikaru hugged Kaoru's dead-body and whispered, "Hey, Kaoru. I feel pain, on my heart. It feels like _**half of my soul**_ was taken away."

_**-flashback**_

An identical twins were sitting on their balcony. Kaoru put his head on Hikaru's shoulder. They just kept silent, and enjoyed that night. Kaoru whispered to Hikaru.

"_Hey, Hikaru... I have a favor. I promise, it'll be the last."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Will you stay beside me until this body has no soul?"_

"_Why did you ask something like that!"_

"_Just answer me, Hikaru..."_

"_Is it because of your cancer? Do you feel unwell?"_

"_No, it's not. But I really need your answer."_

"_I will. I'll stay beside you until your body has no soul..."_

-the end

**A/N: **I like all of host members of Ouran High School. I like Kyouya the most, but I don't know why I made this story... it's my first time to write this kinda thing. Aaaaa, hope you enjoy it! _Domo Arigatou~_


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